Down With The Meter Maids

We get it. The city (yours, mine, all of them) are out of paper money. Budget as dry as the Mohave. And to make up for it, they are compulsively ticketing every single hard working human around the clock like a looter hitting every five and dime before the po-po arrive. (Po-po always sounding funnier from a Caucasian).





How to calmly handle getting your dozenth parking ticket this week:

1. Create a mental "oh shit fund" and even better make a financial "oh shit fund," otherwise known as a "savings account." Mentally set aside a particular amount of money a year for these and all other not-on-my-agenda diabolical experiences so as not to upset you when they *do* happen, as they *always* will. Mentally you won't be saying, "well that wiped out my money for Bora Bora," no, you will say, "deduct a little from the 'oh shit' for the bad shit."

2. Consider it a donation to your city and all of it's much needed projects.

3. Practice a ten minute round of turrets street side. Enjoy the funny stares from all around. This alleviates far more stress than any previous suggestions.

4. Commit to fighting the ticket, then get too busy to fight it, but also forgetting to pay it, letting it double. Get the boot on your car and then commit to leaving the country for some small island where the only method of transportation is tricycle.

5. Swig back a xany with some whiskey. Boom. Problem? Gone.

so many pretty meter maids. so little time.


some ticket hard through any weather.










others ticket happy
with fashionable bouffant updo's. ladies. take note.

"The Classic"









"The Spastic"














"The Beauty Queen"









The "Tokyo Cutie Queen"










The "I Actually Went to School For This"









The "I am about to break out into a strip tease"










The "I just did"